<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Just The Smut by Softlightpen</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27165196">Just The Smut</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Softlightpen/pseuds/Softlightpen'>Softlightpen</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Red Dwarf (UK TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, F/M, Fluff, M/M, More characters to come, More parings to come, Multi, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 00:40:45</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,596</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27165196</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Softlightpen/pseuds/Softlightpen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Smutty/fluffy/angsty little drabbles and vignettes of various lengths.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dave Lister/Arnold Rimmer, Dave Lister/Jim Bexley Speed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>22</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Listy writes fan fiction.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>! Don't forget to check out the tags because things might get kinky sometimes. Individual ratings will be in the notes. </p><p>I decided to post the little bits and pieces I've written over the years here. Some of them were supposed to belong in longer fics and might end or start a little abruptly.</p><p>Many thanks for the lovely people in the fandom who are an endless source of inspiration and fun.</p>
    </blockquote><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Rimmer finds Lister's self insert fan fiction featuring zero-g champion Jim Bexley Speed. Pre-accident.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Rated E.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It had been exactly two months since Rimmer had woken up one sunday morning to discover the whole ship was now aware of what his todger looked like. A prank from Lister and the crimes against humanity that the Scouser liked to call his friends. He should have known they would jump on the first opportunity to pull a cruel prank on him and now he would never ever indulge in Claret again because of them. </p><p>Revenge came in the form of some erotic fiction Lister had written. The stellar cast of this masterpiece was composed of Lister himself and Zero-G football champion Jim Bexley Speed. </p><p>Rimmer read it all from beginning to end and really, who thought of such things? Lister had described everything in excruciating detail, the horny little git. The grammar was awful and the lack of vocabulary was just sad but Rimmer had to admit, it left very little to the imagination.</p><p>Lister, in the fantasy he had chosen to write about, was kneeling in front of the tall champion , his sinful lips stretched around a long, thick member that slid slowly in and out of his mouth, slick with saliva. He was moaning around it and Rimmer knew how it would really sound. He had heard Lister masturbating more than once.</p><p>It wasn't too hard either to imagine him on his hands and knees, his scrummy body held tightly from behind as he thrashed and screamed, begging shamelessly for more of that cock inside of him, finally sobbing in pleasure as his perfect round bottom was being pounded to an eye-rolling orgasm. </p><p>It was as nasty and depraved as it was badly written but at least, Rimmer thought, the punctuation was on point. </p><p>What he couldn't exactly understand though, was why exactly it made him so angry when he should have been laughing like a drain. Why oh why Lister had cast a football player he had vaguely met once to be the main star of his dirty little tale?</p><p>Sure, alright, the guy was insanely tall and incredibly handsome. Okay he had most likely a body rippling with muscles and stamina to boot but still, in Rimmer's opinion Lister should have chosen someone he knew. Someone who had charisma and commended respect and admiration. One of his superiors maybe. </p><p>Anyway, Rimmer decided, there was no point in dwelling on it. He had hundreds of copies to distribute.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Rimmer doesn't want to grow a mustache.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Lister / Rimmer.</p><p>Rimmer is a little jealous, Lister is a little horny, smut happens. Takes place right after "Cured" (XII).</p><p>A big thank you to Janamelie for coming up with the idea :)</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Rated E.</p><p>WARNING: Dolphy is mentioned, being the reason of Rimmer's jealousy. He is a character based on Hitler. Please don't read if the character makes uncomfortable :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"I am warning you Lister," Rimmer announced as he entered the sleeping quarters with pomp. "I am not growing a ridiculous mustache."</p><p>Lister was used to strange announcements from the neurotic object of his affection by now. He didn't bother looking up from the newest issue of The Good Death magazine, enjoying some down time after a very eventful day.</p><p>"Yeah, yeah darlin', 'course not. Hey, did you know that having sex while charging could enhance sensations for holograms? That's nice, that." </p><p>He finally looked up and winked at Rimmer. "Maybe we should try it sometime, yeah?"</p><p>Rimmer wrinkled his nose while frowning. "It's stupid, the cord would get in the way!"</p><p>Lister could think of a few fun things he could do with that cord but for now he decided to worry about the sour expression on the hologram's face. Usually, it meant he was in deep trouble. </p><p>"You okay man?"</p><p>"Of course I am. I was just surprised to find you enjoying the company of this ridiculous little man all day."</p><p>"What, Dolphy? We were just jamin' a bit."</p><p>"Oh come on Lister, I'm sure even you with your one  remaining brain cell could tell that he was dying to dive into your long-johns!"</p><p>"So what? It doesn't mean I was going to take him out of his lederhosen." Lister paused to study the face of his beloved. </p><p>"Rimmer man, are you jealous?"</p><p>"Me jealous? Please Lister! I merely wanted to make it crystal clear that I am not growing an extremely silly looking mustache just to please you. That's all."</p><p>Lister smirked and walked to Rimmer. He used voice command to lock the door and pressed the blushing hologram up against it, putting one hand on Rimmer's chest and letting the other reach down for Rimmer's wrists. He tapped a command he knew by heart  in the hologram's watch and suddenly, the blue uniform between them vanished. Rimmer could only gasp.</p><p>"Darlin', you don't have to do anything to please me, beside being your annoying self."</p><p>"Oh Listy!" Rimmer whimpered as a leather clad thigh slid between his legs. Just like that he was helpless in Lister's arms. </p><p>Lister moaned in response to Rimmer's intoxicating reactions and took a hard nipple in his mouth, sucking gently as his hand slid up Rimmer's arm and neck. He grabbed a handful of soft waves and exposed an inviting neck as he kissed his way up Rimmer's chest. </p><p>"I really want to make you come darlin'. I was thinking of you when I was reading that article, you know. I was picturing you spread and hard and wet for me."</p><p>"Listy, oh Smeg! Please!"</p><p>"Yeah babe, you like to feel my leathers against your cock don't you?" Lister asked smugly, a wide grin spread across his hamster cheeks. </p><p>Rimmer's hips bucked and all he could do was whimper weakly when Lister captured his lips in a demanding kiss, pressing his tongue against Rimmer's.</p><p>The poor hologram came all over the hot leather of Lister's trousers, sobbing into the scouser's mouth,<br/>
his orgasm making the muscles in his core contract and quiver. </p><p>Lister moaned and broke the kiss to admire the post orgasmic expression of his lover's face, licking his own lips. </p><p>"Smeg, you were all worked up, weren't ya?" Lister said amused and painfully aroused in his own trousers."</p><p>"Fuck me on my bunk will you?" Rimmer asked, voice still shaky.</p><p>Lister smiled weakly, his erection twitching. </p><p>"Of course darlin'. Anything for you." He said as he took a step back and undid his belt. </p><p>Rimmer padded to his bunk and positioned himself on all fours across the mattress.</p><p>Lister freed his cock and followed, immediately grabbing two handfuls of the arse that had driven him crazy for decades now. He caressed Rimmer's cheeks fondly and then let go to reach for the lube next to his pillow. He squeezed a good amount to make the hologram slick and wet. He didn't really need lubrication but Lister found it made things sexier.</p><p>Lister placed one knee on the bunk, took a hold of his enormous cock and guided it inside, moaning as he watched it stretch out Rimmer's slick entrance. </p><p>"Smeg Rimmer!" he gave the taut bottom a good smack, making him beg for more of that thick, hard erection. </p><p>They fucked furiously, and poor Dolphy was all but forgotten as Lister tore his own shirt open and let it slide off his shoulders, a thin sheen of sweat making his torso glisten. </p><p>"You love that cock yeah?"</p><p>"Yes! Yes yes yes!" Rimmer growled, dizzy with pleasure. </p><p>They kept on going until they reached the edge. Just as Lister was coming deep inside Rimmer, he noticed that the hologram was coming as well, without even touching himself, he was just ejaculating all over his pristine bed sheets like a two dollar-pounds whore. Lister grabbed his hair and pulled just enough to spur him on. </p><p>"Fuck Lister! Fuck!" He sobbed weakly, pushing himself onto Lister's cock as the scouser felt the last shudders of his orgasm, Rimmer's tightness making him see stars. </p><p>After a beat Rimmer cleared his throat awkwardly.<br/>
"Just to clear things up Listy, I was not jealous. Not at all. That said, I might be willing to try that thing from the magazine."</p><p>Lister laughed breathlessly and gave Rimmer's bottom a playful slap.</p><p>"Anything for you smeghead."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Break</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Listy needs a little break from fixing vending machines. Pre-accident Fluff.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Rated M, just to be sure.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Rimmer, it's time for a break."</p><p>"Lister, we took a smegging break two hours ago! You have less focus than a hyena in a morgue."</p><p>Lister sighed heavily. He had no patience for Rimmer these days.</p><p>"Your banters are particularly dark today man."</p><p>"It's because I'm particularly annoyed at your lack of professionalism!" Rimmer answered, his voice rising in that way that made Lister want to throw himself out of the nearest airlock. </p><p>"Rimmer, five minutes is all I'm asking. If I don't take a break now I'm going to smeggin' lose it!"</p><p>"Alright fine, if that will stop you going on about it!" Rimmer growled, throwing his 14B back in the trolley. </p><p>"Brutal!" Lister cheered, a delighted smile spreading across his radiant face. </p><p>At last, he put his hands on Rimmer's hips and gently pushed him up against the soup dispenser to press hungry little kisses against his neck. He felt a soft moan vibrate in Rimmer's throat and rose himself on the tip of his toes to kiss his insufferable boyfriend deeply, one hand going for his taut bottom and the other petting his hair gently. </p><p>After five minutes of passionate kissing, Lister pulled away to gaze lovingly at Rimmer's flushed face. Putting up with Rimmer's overzealous work ethics was a smegging pain in the arse sometimes, but it was all worth it. </p><p>"See?” Five minutes was all I needed. Now I'm going to be the vending machine third technician of your dreams, Rimsy."</p><p>Rimmer's usually stern expression melted into an adoring smile. </p><p>"What if I give you five more minutes?"</p><p>Lister put his hands on the back of Rimmer's neck, his thumbs drawing gentle circles on the soft skin there.</p><p>"We might have to move to the broom closet, then."</p><p>"Deal."</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>